Lingering thoughts

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and tonight, I found myself all tied up in my window pane. Writing the saddest lines and looking back at all the things that used to surround our element. Our souls have once crossed and it was a total eclipse in the galaxy of human nature. You were the very best of me, my dearest friend and my deepest love. Tonight all the pain came crashing down and all the memories were trying to illuminate all the reasons why it has to end. It’s a strange feeling how I miss staring at you, holding your hand and getting lost with you. I used to think about you every single day and every night I remember writing sweet and delightful thoughts about you. No matter where I am or what’s going on with my life, your soul echoes through mine and that’s exactly what I hoped you felt for me. But just like any other stars that drift away in the galaxy, ours dimmed too soon.

And tonight as tears shed, a part of me misses loving someone and having them love you back. But it reminded me that one day… One day I’ll find someone who won’t have to say goodbye and won’t leave me with another scar.

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To the one who will keep you

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You step into my life when I was in my lowest, when I’ve always doubted about love, forever and the real meaning of genuine happiness. According to God perfect love cast out fear. The moment I laid my eyes on you I knew right at the very moment you are the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. The only person who reshape my idea of home and make me feel so comfortable just as by his presence. Thank you for going through my deepest soul and loving my deepest parts without even saying a word.  Thank you for seeing the best in me most especially on the days that I can’t seem to. Thank you for loving me the way I’ve always wanted to be loved.  Thank you for showing me how beautiful life is and for proving me that forever exists in the most ecstatic way. I know today marks the day of what I know will be a happier life and how wonderful it is to stand by you as we say our “I do’s”. I promise to submit to you, to share my life with you, to always love you, support you, encourage you and I’ll stand by your side with all the crazy things that you want to do. Even at the times when you’re really down and you just don’t think you can continue on, I will be there for you. We’re always behind you, God and I.  It has been a long journey and I know God has blessed us and there’s no force in this universe that could separate us. A life of adventure, laughter, growing together, and a life filled with happiness and God’s blessing. I love you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, my love.

Beauty in a world full of chaos

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Every morning I have been looking in the mirror and ask myself “If today were the last day of my life, am I about to do what I wanted to become?” Through the past years I’ve been living with dreams and hopes but not until life hit me with a brick where I got completely terrified. From then on, my life was filled with unresolved situations, rejections and drastic circumstances. My visions in the future began to diverge and eventually had a fall out. I was a tortured soul. But amid all the doom and gloom, a ray of sunshine has come near me. If it weren’t for these consequent failures probably I’m still vulnerable and less sure about everything. 

Much of who I am right now is because of these rigorous attacks that continue to make me strong & resilient. Now when people asks me I always say, I’ve never been better and if life decides to unravel again I can always try to bend and snap. Never loose hope and continue chasing your dreams! 

Disturbing silence

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A nice fresh bed with smoothly drawn sheets and a hot water bottle at the end of it. Just the right amount of softness enough for me to forget the vast hurricane of emotions. As I take a drag from my cigarette, I romanticize every word you mutter and it feels like hell knowing it was all from your beautiful lies.

Faded affection

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You’re a drug that delights my soul and feeds my existence with pure rapture but now your affection is all drowning. I have never felt so frantic until I realized you are slowly vanishing. I write past midnight and every euphoric thought still lingers like it was just a day ago. Tonight, I drink the most expensive wine under the monumental light alone and all in despair.